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Woman Drains Ex’s Retirement Account

Monday, January 7, 2013 - 6:06 PM
Divorce is a tough experience, but such hardship doesn't cut you any slack if you don't stay on top of your retirement paperwork, as one poor fellow discovered.

Woman drains ex’s retirement account « Bankrate, Inc.
2
ShorebreakShorebreak2,372 posts since
Apr 6, 2010
Rep Points: 12,661
1. Tuesday, January 8, 2013 - 10:59 AM
Shorebreak:  I think my DP's brokerage must have seen that article you posted because yesterday my DP got a letter from them in the mail concerning "my" accessing his account and he should change his password.  I have been an Agent on his IRA for upteen years and never had a problem with the login.  They say I cannot have my own User ID and Password because I don't have an account with them.  So we came to an agreement that "he" has to sit at my computer and type in the login and I am allowed to read the account info as long as "I" do not do the login.  This is such a bunch of garbage and in no way is adding protection to someone's account!  I have done all the financial and tax work for us for all these years and now I am treated like a possible theif?  Their intentions may be good but this is a stupid way to try to protect accounts, imo.  I think it has a lot to do with that hacker who is supposed to hit them and other banks this Spring.  I sure hope they don't read more articles about spouses stealing from one another's accounts or we may see a Nany Cam in our apartment one of these days! :)
1
paoli2paoli21,142 posts since
Aug 10, 2011
Rep Points: 5,096
2. Tuesday, January 8, 2013 - 12:12 PM
1. What a wife! :D  Consider the $42K a small price to pay to get away from her; who may do more harmful damages if stayed married.

2. She is guilty of opening other's private letter.

3. Trust nobody, until proven trustworthy, as far as finance is concerned. 

4. Add a reminder for to-do/check list at divorce.

5.  Any ways to get back with her; e.g., reduction of alimony payment?
2
51hh51hh1,461 posts since
Jan 16, 2010
Rep Points: 6,351
3. Tuesday, January 8, 2013 - 1:07 PM
51:  I totally agree with you for numbers 1, 2, and 4 but do you really think spouses should not trust one another? Why bother to marry someone you don't or can't trust?  I would be in steep doo doo if DP didn't trust me all these years and he would be in even deeper if he had to actually "pay" someone to do all the things I do for him.  So your #3 should not be typical for spouses, imo.  You are going to find deceitful people in many places so one has to  be very careful about sharing financial info but spouses should always be able to trust one another as far as I am concerned.
1
paoli2paoli21,142 posts since
Aug 10, 2011
Rep Points: 5,096
4. Tuesday, January 8, 2013 - 2:33 PM
51:  I totally agree with you for numbers 1, 2, and 4 but do you really think spouses should not trust one another? Why bother to marry someone you don't or can't trust?  I would be in steep doo doo if DP didn't trust me all these years and he would be in even deeper if he had to actually "pay" someone to do all the things I do for him.  So your #3 should not be typical for spouses, imo.  You are going to find deceitful people in many places so one has to  be very careful about sharing financial info but spouses should always be able to trust one another as far as I am concerned.

It depends.  I will not comment in general.  I did modify my comment accordingly. 

But in this case, the divorce itself is a big red flag.  She is no longer a trustworthy spouse (in fact, not a spouse at all).  I am sure that there were many other warning signs before the divorce, given her unlawful and greedy behavior.

BTW, are there ways to get back with her in terms of alimony reduction or some other rational tactics?  I am sure that FWF is resourceful in these aspects.



1
51hh51hh1,461 posts since
Jan 16, 2010
Rep Points: 6,351
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