No Access To My Account??!!!

So last night my family and I where out late running around visiting family and such, so we decided to call in a pizza order and pick it up on the way home.  My husband runs in the store to pick up the pizza's and pay, comes back out telling me his card isn't being accepted, I'm like OK, try my card.  He comes back out and says my card isn't working either.  At this point I'm blaming the guy behind the register, because we had used both cards while running errands early in the day.  So we leave and go to the ATM, enter our card, and recieve a message that tells us our account is unknown....WHAT???  Are you seriously kidding me??? So I call the customer service number on the back of the card, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, nooooo answer.  THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR A BANK OF THIS SIZE HAVING ANY ISSUES WITH THEIR SYSTEM. Tried to call them today and as usual, waited for 12 minutes and no one picked up the line, I am a busy woman and my time is priceless, I shouldn't have to wait longer than 5 minutes for a service that I pay for.  So Monday morning I will be closing my accounts which I have had for YEARS.  I can't trust this bank with my money, so it kind of takes away the Trust part of their name, that's a big deal.