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70% Of Old People Are Still Supporting Their Adult Children

Wednesday, September 4, 2013 - 6:12 PM
More than ever, financial advisers are pushing clients to stop helping out their “less-well-off” children, reports the WSJ’s Corrie Driebusch. “Boomers and those somewhat older are feeling they'd really like to give their children and grandchildren the means to enjoy the lifestyle they feel they may not be able to achieve on their own,” UBS adviser Harold Elish told the Journal.

A recent U.S. Trust survey showed that 70% on respondents older than 68 are “providing substantial financial support for their adult children,” according to the Journal.

Elderly Still Supporting Adult Children - Business Insider
7
ShorebreakShorebreak2,602 posts since
Apr 6, 2010
Rep Points: 14,080
1. Wednesday, September 4, 2013 - 8:33 PM
I think it depends on the situation, but I think supporting until age 31 is ok. Beyond that, no.
2
mustsavemoremustsavemore49 posts since
Jun 26, 2013
Rep Points: 152
2. Wednesday, September 4, 2013 - 9:12 PM
Since when does the age of your child decide when and how much you will support them?   If a parent truly loves their adult children, they should be there for them no matter what age they are.  It's not like the adult child can pick and choose "when" financial problems or medical problems will affect them.  I can't believe any parent who is able to, can be so cruel as to put an "age" limitation to their help.  Maybe they can put an age limitation to how long they will love their child too.  There is a difference between the adult child who chooses to be a bum and refuses to try to support themselves and the one who wants so badly to be able to but life crashes in on them and they can't.  WE don't get to pick and choose when problems will happen to us and neither do our kids.  I can't imagine not being there for my beloved DD no matter how old she becomes.   Love is ageless.
4
paoli2paoli21,365 posts since
Aug 10, 2011
Rep Points: 5,982
3. Thursday, September 5, 2013 - 12:18 AM
#2- I don't think it was referring to being for them or loving their child.  I think they meant at what point do you tell your kid that it is time to support yourself because, well, it's time that you do so.  31 years old seems like a reasonable time. 
2
mustsavemoremustsavemore49 posts since
Jun 26, 2013
Rep Points: 152
4. Thursday, September 5, 2013 - 7:34 AM
You hear a lot about parents taking in adult children who are out of work. What's much less noticed is the opposite trend — adult children taking in parents who find it hard to make it on their own.

Money Problems Forcing Parents to Move in With Their Adult Children - AARP
7
ShorebreakShorebreak2,602 posts since
Apr 6, 2010
Rep Points: 14,080
5. Saturday, September 7, 2013 - 4:04 PM
My friend and her husband retired last year.  Their youngest is 26 now, "still finding herself," and still living at home.  They paid her way through college, where she got a degree in a field that she doesn't like, so is working 8 hours a weeks as a shoe clerk.  Now she's talking about going back and getting a master's degree, but hedges on actually working in that field (social work).

They're starting to despair of her ever moving out, since she's never had even a full-time job yet, let alone a long-term job. 

I know the job hunt is bleak for the young people, but I'd be more inclined to keep supporting a child that was actively trying to succeed than a child who's happy working a couple of 4-hour shifts in between partying.

 

 
2
carlycarly26 posts since
Sep 2, 2011
Rep Points: 88
6. Saturday, September 7, 2013 - 4:38 PM
carly:  The situation you posted about the 26 year old who only works 8 hours a week  and "finding herself" is quite different from what I was referring to when it comes to loving your children and helping them.  There is such a thing as "tough love" and I think this mom needs to provide some of this in this particular situation.  With the job problems people are having nowadays, one has no time to "fine onesself" at 26 years old.  I think it would be more prudent to explain to this girl that she needs to concentrate on finding a full time job or as most have nowadays two part time jobs and learn to support herself.  If the girl had serious medical problems or unexpected financial emergency and needed them for short term help that is one thing.  What is going on here would not be something I could put up with in an adult child.   I do hope they find the courage to give her some new guidance about supporting herself.
2
paoli2paoli21,365 posts since
Aug 10, 2011
Rep Points: 5,982
7. Sunday, September 8, 2013 - 12:01 PM
#4 You are so right. There seems to be about the same in the situation in this article. I have told my children I do not want to be moved in with them. They have their own lives to live. Have someone move in my home to care for me or put me in assisted living or nursing home if I am not able to care for myself. Get that living will done and make your own decisions if you want a feeding tube, if you want life support and in what situation if and when you do. There are  so many decisions that must be done if you want it done your way. PUT IT ON PAPER, SIGNED AND GET A NOTARY (watching you sign the paper). GIVE ONE TO THE LOCAL HOSPITALS, YOUR DOCTORS AND EACH OF YOUR CHILDREN. If you love your children this would be the ultimate gift to them. Take care of it now. 
2
Ally6770Ally6770909 posts since
Jan 16, 2010
Rep Points: 2,639
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