This attacks a serious problem with humor. If you like to smile, its worth the read.
Get the whole debt crisis started already.
So let's tempt fate and see what happens if we rapidly drive the national debt to 100 percent of GDP, 200 percent, or even 500 percent. Here's how: Congress should pass legislation suspending all tax collections indefinitely, which would please Republicans, while hiring every unemployed person in the country, which would satisfy Democrats. The government would have no income and skyrocketing costs, but that's okay, because it would simply borrow the money to pay for everything. If that became a problem, then Congress for once would have a genuine crisis to solve--and they would solve it, because if they didn't, they wouldn't get paid.
Create some low-cost competition.
The beauty of demand-driven competition for government is that it would let consumers choose the amount of government they want, and pay only for what they get. There might even be government-free zones administered and policed by nobody, where the heartiest libertarians could experiment with a new utopia.
Pay the press to stay home.
Every parent knows what would happen, because it's exactly the same as a child who acts out as long as you fuss over him--then pipes down when you stop paying attention.
Let Goldman Sachs run it.
If Goldman can make money selling self-destructing, collateralized-debt obligations and other double-secret derivatives, then surely it can find a way to squeeze a profit out of the underfunded Medicare program or green-energy initiatives.